slave chase

[Back to Basics] Tips for Filing out Your FetLife ‘About Me’

This post includes text I wrote in Winter 2020 for a now defunct blog. Since I’ve seen the need for this topic to be considered and very little coverage of it, I rediscovered this text and edited it lightly to share: Recently, I was considering seeking a job. However, within two minutes of my friendly …

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Personal Reflection: Dominant Little / submissive daddy?

Autumn ends, and Winter begins. Much of my life changed this Autumn. In the spirit of the season, I discovered and developed new relationships. Likewise, I experienced a great deal of change. Some aspects of my life changed in difficult ways, while other aspects continue to change as we enter the winter season. This is …

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Reflections on Uncollaring

The kink community regards a collar as a powerful symbol. There’s something of a shared respect for collars, even if the understanding of what it means may vary throughout different communities. A play collar can represent the bottom in a scene, while an ownership collar can symbolize a near absolute transfer of authority.  Today, I’d …

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In Favor of Unstructured Thinking Time

Meditating is really fucking difficult. The way meditation has been explained to me by therapists, mindfulness apps, and Buddhist monks alike is emptying one’s mind. Noting thoughts, but not getting attached to them. People admit that it’s a challenge, and yet it’s worthwhile for the benefits. For me, it’s bordering on impossible. I can hardly …

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Knight & page, Vampire & thrall, and More: Archetypical Inspiration for Power Exchange

During the Master/slave Conference 2019, I met people in a variety of dynamics, all under the wide umbrella of Master/slave. While walking through the hotel, I met a woman and her companions. The woman had a strong presence and was dressed to the nines with a beautiful vintage updo and gown. Her companions, a man …

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“Mental Stuff Like Confidence or Self Esteem”: Vital Skills for Dominants

A gentleman on Reddit’s r/BDSMcommunity posted asking for advice, saying he “[feels] overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff I need to learn, want to learn.” He was essentially asking what kinky play and sex skills should a Dominant develop, and specifically mentioned that he wasn’t interested in “mental stuff like confidence or self esteem.” This was …

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