Personal Journey

Personal Reflection: Dominant Little / submissive daddy?

Autumn ends, and Winter begins. Much of my life changed this Autumn. In the spirit of the season, I discovered and developed new relationships. Likewise, I experienced a great deal of change. Some aspects of my life changed in difficult ways, while other aspects continue to change as we enter the winter season. This is …

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Reflections on Uncollaring

The kink community regards a collar as a powerful symbol. There’s something of a shared respect for collars, even if the understanding of what it means may vary throughout different communities. A play collar can represent the bottom in a scene, while an ownership collar can symbolize a near absolute transfer of authority.  Today, I’d …

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In Favor of Unstructured Thinking Time

Meditating is really fucking difficult. The way meditation has been explained to me by therapists, mindfulness apps, and Buddhist monks alike is emptying one’s mind. Noting thoughts, but not getting attached to them. People admit that it’s a challenge, and yet it’s worthwhile for the benefits. For me, it’s bordering on impossible. I can hardly …

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The No That Changed My Life

I’ve been to many sexy parties in my adult life. Hell, during my first bachelorette party, I wore lingerie and danced through the apartment while all my friends cheered me on. Yet, the parties I attended when I was eighteen and nineteen silently drew the line at lapdances and sexy outfits. There were rare moments …

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What’s Choice Got to Do With It?: Thoughts on Choosing Submission

Due to a recent dissolution of a long-running dynamic, I’m re-reading what I consider the central texts of kink. It’s a time to work on myself by reconsidering these books, and the ways my understanding of them has changed. As I read, I had a thought that while an outsider may see choice and submission …

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My Biggest Communication Fuckup & What I Would Do Differently Now

Right now, while I begin the journey of becoming an educator, I want to be honest with you. I want to be authentic. If I claim to be a communications educator but don’t share how I’ve fucked up along the way, I fear that I’m concealing something. Making mistakes and learning why you made them …

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