The Kinky Butler

Service & Management Styles

When I was at MTTA’s Male slave Weekend, which takes place in Master Taino’s home, he said something that really blew me away. “My slave,” he said, gesturing towards slave paul, “…has only one directive: Care for my home. That’s it.” Of course, they have been together for quite some time, and his slave knows …

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Playing With Your Tea

What do you think of when I say the words “English tea service”? For most it inspires visions of royalty, high protocol, maids, and butlers.  It’s stiff collars, corsets, and fine china for others.  For me, it means play time! I will admit that high protocol and maids calling me “Sir” is an absolute turn …

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Small Acts of Service While Disabled

I am disabled. I struggle with chronic fatigue and pain. It can vary in intensity, but it always affects my life, especially my service. I don’t mention this for pity, as I’ve had enough pity for one lifetime. No, I share these details because I know that many service-oriented kinksters already struggle with a disability …

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Fostering Valuable, Underrated Service ‘Soft’ Skills

I am not the only kinkster bemoaning the hyperfocus on hard skills in the service community. In conversations I’ve struck up with service receivers across the kink world, the issue with soft skills has been brought up in some way or another. From potential servants that don’t know how to communicate their sexual desires until …

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Etiquette’s Relevance for Modern Kinksters

We approach the one hundred year anniversary of the publication of the seminal etiquette book, Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home by Emily Post. I know that many people, kinky and vanilla alike, have decided that etiquette isn’t relevant to them in their everyday lives. Maybe they google how to sign …

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Thriving When You Don’t Have Someone to Serve

Someone in a Discord community that I moderate asked for advice about maintaining life structure after the relationships supporting it ends. This is a topic of interest for me, and I’d like to share my thoughts. I am someone who is only fully functional when I have a D-type in my life. There’s a lot …

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The Monk & the Soldier: Understanding the Relationship between Service and Sacrifice

I was recently asked to explain my interest in orgasm control. You may be wondering how this relates to service, but you’ll find that my reasons for enjoying service and orgasm control are quite similar. As I’ve recently been in contact with a few vanilla people who don’t understand my desire to serve at all, …

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A Fair Exchange: What a Servant Might Ask for in Return

A Domme recently contacted asking for advice on how to find a local service submissive. She mentioned that she was looking for someone who would be satisfied with just the opportunity to serve, asking for nothing else in return. I’ve had conversations like this with many people and I think this points to a common …

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