If you already have a handle on driving yourself around, it may be tempting to assume that chauffeuring as a service is as simple as adding another person. However, to truly excel and provide the feeling of luxury that a butler offers, there are many ways you can improve the experience beyond just driving the principal to and from their destination.
In this post, I hope to examine chauffeuring as a whole, discuss negotiation considerations for this service, and outline the elements of excellent chauffeuring.
Principals tend to enjoy this service because it makes life much easier for them. You’re taking all of the thought, planning, and stress of travel off of their plate so they can concentrate on more important things. For a principal who has an intense job, a car ride where they can relax is a rare moment of peace. If your principal is attending an event where they are bringing gear that they must carry into the venue, someone to lend a hand or take care of it completely makes their day that much more enjoyable.
For many, the appeal of chauffeuring is the tremendous impact it can have for those served. Aside from this factor, I personally enjoy this service because I can be close to my principal both physically and emotionally without pressure to lead an intense conversation. I’ve also found that driving a potential principal to events can lead to accompanying them, which I personally enjoy.
I feel it is important to include why you would consider me an authority on this topic. I have no professional or formal training as a chauffeur. However, I have been providing this as a service periodically for several years, often several times a week. I’ve also spent time researching the methods of professional chauffeurs and other drivers. Please take this information as my own experience and reflections.
I feel that negotiation for service isn’t discussed often enough in the broader kink community. Perhaps people assume that the topic is obvious. I would like to encourage everyone to negotiate service and speak about it with other kinksters to normalize it.
To start the negotiation conversation, I’ve listed some questions and discussion points that a servant may find it necessary to ask before providing chauffeur service. This discussion would ideally occur several days beforehand. You may also find that these questions are more oriented towards those who have never had this discussion before. Please regard these as a starting point, not the complete conversation.
Considerations Regarding Travel
- “Where will I be picking you up?”
- “What time will I be picking you up?”
- “Where will I be driving you?”
- “Is there a specific time you need to be at your destination?”
- “How long will you be at your location?” If there isn’t a precise time that the event or visit ends, discuss how you will contact each other to determine when you will prep the vehicle and return.
- “Will I also be returning you to your home / hotel afterwards?” In my experience, the answer to this question is usually yes, but there will be occasions where those that you serve have arranged for alternate transportation home.
- “Do you have any preferences on the route?”
Considerations Regarding Behavior
- “Would you like anything to be picked up on my way to you?” Possible examples include refreshments or dry cleaning
- If they are attending an event: “Will I be attending the event with you?” If the answer to this question is yes, this is the beginning of a much broader conversation.
- If they are attending an event: “If I’m not attending with you, do you have a preference on where I wait while you attend?”
- If picking them up from a house: “When I arrive, would you like me to knock on the door or would you rather I wait in the car?”
- “Will you need anything moved to the car?”
- “Would you like me to open the car door for you?”
Considerations Regarding Preferences
- “Is there a drink you would like to have at hand?”
- “Do you have any preferences regarding music or other audio?”
- “Would you prefer to talk beyond pleasantries?” This could change in the moment, so reaffirm this during your time together.
Considerations Regarding Exchange
- Discuss what you both hope to get out of the service This is especially important if the relationship is new.
- Discuss how money will be handled. Many of the things I discuss later cost money, starting with fuel, and this can add up. If the principle agrees to pay for some or all of your expenses, keep a detailed document with receipts so that you have an accurate figure to give them.
Elements of Excellent Chauffeur Service
It is vital that you have your vehicle checked up a few days before you intend to chauffeur anyone. This can be done on the day of, but I advise doing it the day before at the latest, as even minor repairs can take time. A quick service center like Valvoline can check your fluids, tires, lighting system, and climate control, all of which are important for the safety and comfort of the ride. Additionally, make sure your fuel tank is full. These checkups will ensure that your vehicle will not run into mechanical trouble as you serve.
On the day you pick up your guest, check for any impediments that may impact your travel. For example, review your local news as well as navigation software for any road closures due to construction. It’s also wise to consider the flow of traffic around the route; People driving to and from work or large events can cause bumper to bumper traffic, which is often frustrating for the principal. If you can, avoid this by changing your route or departure time.
While we hope emergency situations never occur, it’s best to be prepared. As with any time that you’re driving, keep your driver’s license and insurance information in the vehicle with you. I also advise that if the person you are serving isn’t your primary partner, give them your emergency contact information or, if you’re concerned about privacy, keep that information on your person. Negotiate with your guest about their emergency contact information as well.
You may also benefit from basic knowledge of emergency car maintenance. Of course, many mechanical issues need a professional’s care, so identifying a mechanic along your route can also prove helpful in those difficult moments.
Comfort & Cleanliness
There are two things you can do consistently to provide a pleasurable trip. One, always dispose of the trash in your car, especially food waste, as soon as you exit your vehicle. Two, prioritize repairs of comfort items such as upholstery and the climate control system. I advise that you do these things even when you don’t have a passenger because it increases your standards of comfort and cleanliness. This also keeps you prepared for any spontaneous travel you might be asked to provide.
If you’ve done the above tasks consistently, it should be simple to quickly perfect your car the day of your service. To do so, wash your car externally or pay to have it washed. Next, declutter the interior of your vehicle to store away all unnecessary items and put everything in its place. Finally, wipe down the hard surfaces and vacuum the floor mats and seats.
A professional cleaning may also be of interest, in lieu of or in addition to your efforts. If you’re on a budget, the search term ‘interior car cleaning’ can help you find a service that can take around 10 to 20 minutes if you’ve already decluttered. For something comprehensive, ‘auto detailing’ will get you the results you need, but can be quite expensive and time-consuming at between 90 minutes and three hours. When hiring any auto cleaning service, mention any scent or chemical sensitivities that you or your passenger have. It is also courteous to discreetly tip these service providers 15 to 20 percent based on the size of your vehicle and the quality of their work.
You may invest in a few items to have on hand that can improve the principal’s experience. These include:
- chilled water bottles
- your passenger’s drink of choice, if possible
- light, shelf-stable snacks
- an umbrella
- a charger compatible with your passenger’s cell phone
It may be presumptuous of me to assume that punctuality is an obvious component of excellent chauffeur service, so I will cover it briefly.
In order to leave on time, discuss your destination and route beforehand. Aim to arrive around 10 minutes before it is best to leave so that last minute goodbyes or preparation doesn’t delay you. If you know you need to move items to your vehicle, arrive around 15 minutes early instead.
If you are driving your passenger to a particular event, keep the beginning and end times in mind. Keeping them written on a note or in your phone’s calendar application can be helpful. I will warn you, however, that these times are often changed, sometimes last minute, so it’s important to keep lines of communication open and avoid becoming emotionally attached to the predictability of an event.
Regarding pick-up at the end of an event, I ask for a 10 to 15 minute warning from the principal if I am waiting nearby. I usually find a coffee shop as close as possible to the event and write. If I can’t find something close, I bring a drink, find a safe place to park, and spend time in my car. If instead you’re attending the event with the principal, politely excuse yourself around 10 minutes before they’ll want to leave so that you can pull the car around.
Peace of Mind
Beyond comfort, I believe that creating peace of mind for your passenger is the key to taking chauffeuring from a mere car ride to a luxury experience. This is first an aspect of the way you drive. A butler chauffeur does not only drive safely, they drive in a predictable way. Swerving or breaking suddenly is not only unsafe, but can cause distress in your passenger. So develop good habits of breaking and accelerating gradually, keeping a fair distance between your vehicle and others, and preparing for changes ahead of time.
One major cause of unpredictable driving is not knowing your route, thus making navigational errors. As mentioned above, plan your route ahead of time and research any potential events that might reroute you. Additionally, if you make a navigational mistake, keep yourself steady and find a new route rather than driving haphazardly to quickly fix your mistake.
Staying lighthearted when you or other people make mistakes is a valuable skill for a servant to develop in all situations, but especially in the car. I will assure you that nothing can ruin a relaxing chauffeur service quicker than a bout of road rage!
Companionship encompasses the senses, beginning with your initial visual impact The image of chauffeur and butler in many people’s minds is dressed in business or black-tie attire. This is something to discuss with your principal, but a good fallback that never fails to impress is a two-piece or three-piece business suit if you have or can afford one.
No matter what you wear, you must be presentable. Shower, take care of your teeth, and clean under your nails on a regular basis. Being inoffensive is the minimum.
Additionally, while this is a courtesy in all situations, don’t wear heavy scents especially if you’re going to be in an enclosed vehicle with another person. Not only can this be unpleasant, but it can also trigger allergies or other irritations for some people.
Regarding entertainment, I usually chose a music playlist on my phone to play at about 20% volume, which in my experience invites conversation but does not demand it. Some music search terms that I’ve used to find suitable playlists include ‘family-friendly pop,’ ‘piano covers,’ and ‘coffee shop,’ but ultimately this is up to your best judgment. If you know them, defer to the music tastes of your passenger.
While it may be tempting to strike up a conversation, I advise you to ask your passenger during the negotiation and again during the drive if they would like to talk beyond pleasantries. If they do, consider open-ended questions you might ask about them and their experiences, and stay lighthearted unless they take it elsewhere. You might also research the event your passenger will be attending or landmarks in the area to discuss.
If your principal doesn’t want to talk during your trip, this is an excellent time to practice the skill of occupying yourself. Perhaps you’ll concentrate on driving, follow the music, or brainstorm some other aspect of service.
As you have seen, chauffeuring can be a surprisingly complex service. I believe this is rewarding, as you can take an experience from a stressful drive to a time for your principal to relax and recover.
What other services would you like to see taken to this level of detail? Please write about them in the comments below!
The founder of The Kinky Butler is slave chase tramel. From primary school onward, he had fantasies of serving as a butler for his schoolyard crushes. Later, when he had the pleasure to serve as a butler at a kinky formal dinner, he realized that butling could be more than a fantasy. As he gathered resources from professional butlers and service-oriented kinksters alike, he realized that he may not be alone in his search. Thus, he created The Kinky Butler to help kinksters bring an air of luxury to their everyday service.