When I was at MTTA’s Male slave Weekend, which takes place in Master Taino’s home, he said something that really blew me away. “My slave,” he said, gesturing towards slave paul, “…has only one directive: Care for my home. That’s it.” Of course, they have been together for quite some time, and his slave knows his preferences very well. Nonetheless, that’s not a lot of guidance.
I would hate it.
You see, I believe that management is on a spectrum. There’s macromanagement. Something like “Care for my home” without any further instruction or involvement represents the far end of macromanagement. On the other end, I believe I lean towards the extremes of micromanagement.
For example, Dally and I have meetings about my personal and professional goals every week, month, quarter, and year. We have different templates for every type of meeting. I write up notes on what is said and refer to them at specific times. Every day, I have a daily planner template that I created with Dally’s approval. I fill it out by myself or with his help based on the goals we agreed upon in our meetings. Here’s an example:
Daily Planner Page
- [ ] Write first draft of an article for The Kinky Butler
- [x] Read and research for my conflict resolution class
- [x] Teaching NVC to people on the Autism spectrum?
- [x] Read and research for my PCA paper
Update plugins on my personal site Update plugins on The Kinky Butler site Schedule tweets for my personal twitter Schedule tweets for The Kinky Butler twitter Post the promotional image for the event on FetLife
- Open packages
1500 – Watch Encanto movie with household
1700 – Drive to Dally’s house
Today is going to be a great day.
I am grateful for sunbeam kitty.
I am a great writer.
Allies and Threats
Dally, Lexi, Fit Miss, Ajax
Energy dips, pain.
Now, I don’t know if this is the absolute extreme of micromanagement, but I couldn’t find an s-type that likes to be micromanaged this much. When I share this planner page in some Discord servers I’m in, I receive comments of shock and awe.
I imagine that those of who have read Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny’s book Real Service you might recognize these in the archetypes they describe. The celebrity Dominant, who wants to be waited on hand and foot with anticipatory service, and the caregiver Dominant, who wants to manage the submissive in a hands-on way.
One thing I’d like to note that is also discussed in Real Service, is that service can be core to either of these relationships. slave paul and I are both servants. We both pride ourselves in bringing pleasure and ease to the men we serve. I am not less of a servant because I ask for micromanagement. Dally enjoys it, as he feels that he has a great deal control over my life. My desire to serve Dally is in part motivated by an attempt to free up his energy and time so that he can take the time to manage me. It’s a fair exchange in our relationship.
I have heard from multiple people that they assumed serving came with a specific management style. After sharing my daily planner page in a community I’m part of, I recieved a message that essentially said, “I thought I hated service, but if someone was able to assign me tasks the way [you have in your relationship], I think I would really enjoy it.” Likewise, I have seen people who were quite interested in serving, but only if their Principal was completely hands off. “Care for my home”-style management would be a perfect fit for them.
Yes, I must mention that it seems be a trend that service-oriented Dominants tend to lean towards a macromanagement style. I don’t have any numbers, just anecdotes. Before I was involved with Dally, I heard in a few spaces that no Master would want to be as involved with managing my life as I desired, especially if I wasn’t monogamous with them. Nonetheless, I was able to find multiple people who were willing and excited about micromanging me.
This aspect of a power dynamic impacts compatibility a great deal. Yes, you may have kinks in common and share many other perspectives. However, if the servant is patiently waiting for detailed instructions on you week, and they hear something like “Go to work, then care for me sexually. That’s it.” they may end up feeling lost and uncared for. On the other end of the spectrum, a servant expecting an uninvolved D-type may be annoyed and frustrated by Dominant that gives them goals for every single day. I advise any kinksters searching for a service arrangement to lead with this information.
For Dominant folks reading, I encourage you to reflect on the management style you offer. Perhaps this piece has given you language and examples that you may have had a difficult time articulating otherwise.
For submissive folks reading this, if you like providing pleasure and ease to someone who has authority over you, service might be a good fit, regardless of your management preference. There are service-oriented D-types out there that fall all over the spectrum of management styles. I encourage you to reflect upon the management style that your prefer and use this information when searching for someone to serve. If you’re in a dynamic now, discussing the management style that would fulfill you is vital to long-term success.
What management style do you prefer? Have you heard of micromanagement structures more extreme than mine? Did this article have an impact on your perspective? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.
The founder of The Kinky Butler is slave chase tramel.