Why Homemaking?

Moving forward, this site will be divided into three parts. The Kinky Butler contains resources about formal service and slave chase is oriented around my personal journey and experiences. The new addition, The Kinky Homemaker, will explore the practical, day-to-day service that The Kinky Butler often did not or could not touch on. So why homemaking?

The service-oriented parts of the kink community hold domestic service in a high regard. For many people, it’s assumed that a servant will care for their Dominant’s home. So why this resource? Why oriented around the idea of homemaking, which has such a gendered history?

To answer that, I first want to explore these words we use: Service, domestic service, homemaking, and homemaker. The explanations I use are my own, yet they draw from many places and may resonate with you.

The definition of service I use draws heavily from what Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny outline in their book Real Service. In a kink context, service is something that one person does for another to provide ease and pleasure in a useful, real life way. Domestic service, occasionally called domestic servitude, is service that takes place in the home. Obvious enough so far.

How does that contrast with the homemaker? Homemaking is a holistic approach to caring for the home. While domestic service and homemaking can look on the surface to be exactly the same, homemaking has a broader goal in mind. It isn’t merely cooking, cleaning, meal planning, errands, financial management, laundry, pet care, and or anything else necessary given a situation. It is performing those services in order to make a living situation a home.

Home is a place where people come together to connect, rest, and restore. Families, whether biological or chosen, can share one roof and develop relationships over a special meal. For kinksters like us, home can be a place where we can be our truest selves and express our deepest desires without the judgment of those that would misunderstand. Inside of homes love develops, people grow, and safe havens are built.

Home is special. Home isn’t just where the cleaning happens or where the bed is made. Home must be something intentional. Homemakers create homes.

Now, homemakers don’t have to be of a certain gender, sex, or orientation. For that matter, anyone can be a homemaker regardless of any demographic variation. Additionally, while homemakers may benefit from a spiritual perspective on their work and the way it connects to a power exchange relationship, neither spirituality nor religion are necessary.

Not all homemakers do so ‘full time’ either. Many have jobs outside of the home. Others have disabilities that limit the methods and time that they can serve. They are homemakers nonetheless.

The Kinky Butler was created out of my desire to compile and later create resources about butler skills. Likewise, I created The Kinky Homemaker in order to share and ‘translate’ the many resources in the vanilla homemaking space. While The Kinky Butler will continue to be updated, The Kinky Homemaker will be updated in parallel. Some resources and events will be shared between them, and yet many will stand alone.

I’m looking forward to seeing our community expand as we step into this new territory. My deepest wish is to serve the community in such a way that I can share resources and inspiration to help every kinky servant achieve service excellence.

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